Mastering the mind

It's a tough one, but its been troubling me for a few days so my two pennies on it ..

Yogis all over the world describe mind as inner instrument. It is the sum total of our memories , manifests our hopes and desires and manages our daily activities. Yet despite the central role it plays we rarely think about the mind itself.

It allows us to see where we are going and shows us how to get there. Yoga philosophy provides a map of the mind that complements the practice of the mind. It opens the door to a new way of seeing human affairs and helps us to solve the puzzle who we are.

The mind is :

Ahamkara( self identity)

Manas ( everyday mind)

Chitta ( unconscious mind)

Buddhi ( silent mental witness)

To gather any experience, a mind must be connected to a body. It is through the channels of the senses and the sense organs ( the eyes, ears, hands, feet etc) that the mind receives impressions from outside, and acts together and thus the mind and body act as a fine tuned subtly integrated team.

The first is the everyday conscious mind, manas. Next is the subtle and quiet witness of experience, buddhi. Third is the sense of individuality or self-identity ahamkara. Finally the mind serves as a storing place of the storing habits, and latent impressions samskaras deposited in the unconscious mind chitta.

The mind indeed is the cause of one’s bondage and one’s liberation. Upanishad verse2.

It is this manas  mind which is the cause of all problems, the in decisive mind because it is a good collector and displayer of information but a poor decision maker. It will decide where to go, what to take along, what to wear what to do, calculate the entire cost of the trip but it will unable to decide whether to go or not. This dithering is what keeps us suspended in limbo. Buddhi values the actions and helps us determine. This mental screen registers as well as colors them forever. We form impressions and keep them for future purposes also. Memories of past encounters, behavior patterns put us on guard and these in turn constantly shape our thoughts.

The Silent witness of our mind is like the COO of any company. It constantly monitors, registers the hustle, bustle passing without interruption through periods of waking sleeping, dreaming and dreamless sleep. Its activity however is a mask of sorts, one that conceals a deeper dimension of life.

The activities of the silent mind are a kind of sleep. They focus on the sensory experience, on the fulfillment of instinctual urges and on the pursuit of the everyday pleasures. Yet, they call to the deeper experiences of life.

Thus,a voice calls from within , saying,” Wake up! Return to yourself.’ Its as if we want to return to the womb, to the purity ,sanctity  which will always call us and ask us to return to the fold. Each one of us , does hear the call ,it of course depends again upon us to act on it or sink deeper into the primeval pleasures of life.

The journey does not end here, with the calling, distractions arise that alert us to the many layers of experiences stored in the chitta , the unconscious mind. Buddhi examines these impressions both in the form of thoughts and feelings and later as habits and behaviors of everyday. In this process, it observes and registers a thought, forms an understanding of its significance and makes a decision. The decision is always wise or foolish. Foolish if it is based on attachment or wise if it is based on the assessment of real needs. It is the decision maker and as it awakens it makes them logical, and then they are more balanced and reflect a calmer mind.

This is the return journey and we recapture our inner self, the journey to the conscious awareness. This is a process which cannot be hurried or hastened , it unfolds gradually , slowly at its own pace at an opportune moment.

Is a homemaker a dislocated worker?

A post on Fb ( where else!) got me thinking yes, it is something I do sometimes.
Is a homemaker a dislocated worker? Yes , I think so. All those hours where we ( I can hear a lot of yea's ) work or do endless chores jobs which go on and on like the energizer bunny and never stop is taken for granted without batting an eyelid.
I mean all the times mothers, house wives cook clean pick up , provide shoulder to cry , hug and pick up the kids and even the husband when he is facing some deadline at work/office. We all are rolled into one as psychologists, mommies in distress , support systems, chauffeurs to everywhere unpaid 24x7 and cooks who still can't cook KFC , Big Mac but dish out the best yellow dal with roti. Mom's chai and the way she makes the milk is the biggest security blanket for kids.
Do any of you know what a home maker is worth? The smirk and sneer on a working person's face as if they have smelt something foul says that she just sits at home, enjoys life watching soap operas crying away when Ram is leaving what's her name .She has maids, bais, gardeners at her disposal ,cooks and all the help.
Well, step into her shoes. she multitasks better than any Ratan, Mukesh or Anil rolled into one. She has her mind working 24x7x365 thinking and dishing out menus , budgeting and ensuring everyone gets what they want or there is enough money left for that extra special outfit or those new shoes which you've got to have ASAP otherwise life would not go on..
Fathers , mothers who work at home cannot say what they do but they just do. It is a thankless job, everyone grumbles but they just carry on . We are Ego boosters, mothers, wives, cleaners, washerwoman , drivers, agony aunts ,office admin workers all rolled into one and heaven forbid you do not have a smile on your face when you welcome your Lord Almighty when he walks in. He doesn't want to hear whether the gas did not get delivered, or the maid is stealing petty cash or whether your son needs extra money for a camping trek . He just wants you smiling ,looking pretty available to him and him alone with a cup of tea and some snacks.
Dr Dhallu , ( hats off  to him) quotes a classic one," By and large housewives and mothers are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.'
It's  so true when do we ever stop being a mother or a care taker? No regrets , it's a great job but can we have some respect here, please? I mean how about all of us starting a day ( it's the trend these days); to have an official Housewives Day . We could also have an official clock which calculates what is the time spent in cooking , cleaning and doing all the things which housewives do sacrificing themselves with out asking for anything in return on any given day .
Ps: Homemakers love doing what they do be it baking a cake ,or the extra flowers she puts around the house knowing fully well that no one is going to note the presence or absence thereof but to know she is appreciated is what matters. In fact , you cannot put a monetary value but to be appreciated does put a smile on the face and makes it all worth it. you know the spring in her step , well it's because of the kind words.. so go ahead give your wife or mom a hug and say those three meaningful words ....

Did I say Thank You recently ? 26/4

I need to say it out loudly , Thank you God for everything.
It was raining , still they came , covered with towels . they all came . And then I spotted one child with unkempt hair and her clothes dirty and torn. when asked why she did not comb her hair ? She told Simer , her mother had died . Her fat he chad never bought her oil or ever bothered with her clothes.
She cooked her food herself, and maybe thats why she had a burn on her face.
and I broke down. the girl is Rekha , age 11 , no one has ever registered her name. She has no love, color in her life and probably nothing. Welcome , to the real world.
The sunshine moment combing her hair, applying oil and cleaning her up.
The next sunshine moment in the otherwise cloudy day medicines, supplements by Dr Anupama Saggar and money. It make sue all the different, Powder supplements, iron ,calcium , multivitamins, well we have 'em.

25/4

70 kids , 2 adults, 3 dentists , 2 madamji's and splitting headache , coffee right now but what an evening.
Thank you so much Dr Bhawan preet, Dr Harman,Dr Supreet.. For you both it was an evening but for me it was a personal achievement as I could convince someone to come over and then take the risk ( monetary wise) to come over to the pind.
 It amazes me that people reach out and help us. The findings of the dentists were interesting, basic hygiene was great , coz' kids here were not exposed to the lavish common lifestyle in the city... no chips, no chocolates, no coke etc. Just regular mid-day meals. Do you know that they do not eat meals at home , just that one meal at school ; so sometimes they faint ....?
Even that they take tiffin boxes and take food back home.  Do i cry or pick up myself and say well lets make a difference?
the kids loved their little presents, their own toothpastes, brushes, mouthwash , the sense of possession and most important the fact they had their own little white slip . It had their name, what was their ailment . You should of seen them, it was a NEW  thing, not old or hand me down and it was just theirs ...
Thank you All.

The two legged kind

It was a serious discussion and we all were passionately putting up our points of defense and for and then I was stumped.
Women all over have just been fooled into believing that they are all -important . It does not matter how you look, what we wear , what you reveal , how your lips are ( well that is stretching it ) .Women all over are fueling the biggest con conspiracy since eve decided to eat the Apple and cause all the miseries ( as drilled ) .
In fact , we try to look beautiful,try all sorts of creams , products to look alluring , lovely what ever adjective comes in to your mind ,we all try to fit into it. Imagine , my surprise when I read a few weeks ago there is A Happy Cleavage day and then they talk about feminism?
Why do we need a day to celebrate it ? Why does twitter or the particular smart-ass 140 words be needed to highlight this?  It's a part of one's anatomy and when did we go around talking about men's butts.
Shouldn't it be a quid pro quo situation or how about a day when we can all salivate ever men's chins ? Hmm Heathcliff kind.
Coming back to the two legged kind, men find the feather kind much better. Kadhai chicken butter chicken , garlic chicken , and what ever way they want it better than the two legged kind.
Paapi pet ka swaal hai , bhai.

25/4

Today is the day , when two great Dentists will come over and the fact that what I thought of is actually going to be realized , first step... baby step dental treatments, hygiene and all being taken care of . they would also distribute essentials to the children , let's see what happens.Dreams do come true ,its just following it through that matters.

23/4

Its been moving .. the fact that children are learning and we have results is what matters. the question i face everyday is how to shorten the group ? I need to do justice to the ones who i can foresee have a bright future and on the same hand we need to make the foundation strong.
It is sad  and makes me angry at the same time that inspire of the huge infrastructure , the primary class teachers all the government regulation s, the acts passed the primary education is in shambles.Kids do not recognize the alphabet , if they can write they don to know what it stands for. Weddings , or any excuse works for not going to school ,jumping class, running away is all right.
AND , we want to compete?

17/4

WE have dictionaries , thanks to Aneet Komal Randhawa! There is goodness in the world. I am struggling with the influx of new students and even tiny tots ; 4 in number who are in Nursery . I think they are a foot high . But , have  bags which are heavier than they are are . The education system is the same be it the primary school or the swish swanky schools of the city .Be it a private or a government education the bag load is heavier , like  mule sacks. Maybe they want the mining effect which is  also influencing the education boards.
We struggle everyday with simple words, spellings , opposites and today even adjectives.It seems a few know the subject , the rest are alien to it. But , they all want to learn and thats what matters. A surprise few , like Sunita who I thought was a dodo, knows her words now ( YES) and a naughty boy Sukhdeep is the surprise of the lot.
Let's see where we go.

16/4

the motley group who walks in at 4 pm is full of enthusiasm and love fro education . it seems I need to put in more and not trifle away with these nubile minds.
My worst enemy till date , mosquitoes! This is what was also one of the words in the dictation today and you should have seen the smiles. my sweetest child , Devika .. a nepalese sweetie pie, 5 year old in little pig -tails ( blue ribbon and all) who loves coloring . They all come in dressed , bathed (my pre- condition) that they have to be neat and clean with hair combed. The little boys have spikes in their hair. Girls wear their bangles and pretty color dupattas . On eof them , Nisha who wants to be a policeman ( the original tomboy ) also gave concession to her feminity , a white ribbon!
I have this boy , Bharathi who comes up with the most original sentences,thankfully I have started them thinking out of the box. Maybe , what i do will make a difference somewhere, a dent in someone's lives.
They say , if you are on the path , doors will open. My next three months food, biscuits rooh afazah and drinks , black board all done. Thanks , ma.

14/4

The enthusiasm never wavers. They all come in swarms and some who do not want to study or the feel good factor has worn off have stopped coming. Sukhman , my bright 10 year old just wants to do maths.While the twins Bharathi and Nisha are the most competitive of the lot. Bharathi makes all the new original sentences and you can see his mind working and making sentences beyond the ordinary .
I wish I can get them to think and to think out of the box. Their minds have been conditioned to not think  just to write those lines which they have been taught. Association or to cross the boundaries is alien to them.
Finally , have dentists who will take care of their dental hygiene . Yes yes .

15/4
It's not even 8 am and they have started to come, I so need my second cup of tea to function but I love the enthusiasm which sucks me in to make them do better , to push them to the next level. Words which I think are common, and known to all are alien to them ,they can spell but what do they mean....zilch. A group of twenty-four is what turned up and I can see a core group formulation who will probably be along with me for this journey but I wonder ....
 Common occupations, word meanings , sentences , a lot of A-Z for the little ones and it was time for me to take out the puzzles! Oh how they loved this surprise. The fact that none of them had ever owned one but loved to piece them together to make their favorite cartoon ( in hindi) and the cars ! I divided them into 4 groups and the fun they had. The team which came first got a gift of temporary tattoos( thanks Rupali) and well in the end I had to give in and give to the rest of the kids. I know , I am a sucker but well thats what I am.
The life offers us simple pleasures we can either seize them or moan and be grumpy to want them to come  toys. you know they just might not know the way . i mean go look for the rainbow , it's out there . 

Diary of A Madamji

13/2/12
Kids are kids and they will remain so.I had made a timetable so they would all come in batches and we could get some work ,some progress done, but they refuse to not come! This little girl ,Neharika came and stood out at 4pm not taking a no for an answer and then someone mentioned to me that kids are standing out  in the sun. Well, what to do , they all walked in , like little ants to the honey -pot and the class started.
It's all not about English, it's about giving them space, the confidence to speak loudly and to allow them to make mistakes so they can learn without reprimand. What I feel sad is , their inability to express to speak loudly and even if they know the answer to say it in front of me. They only know one way of learning, the GUIDE. This is how they learn , they remember everything by rote. Dismal .
The class went of as it does, three more kids . The standards vary from english school ,to a privately run academy by Buddhists, to the so called govt school. This  I would write some day . The opportunities offered makes me wonder why .
My last student ( new student ) was Vipan Kumar , age 20 , a twelfth pass in commerce subjects. He is currently studying his ITI diploma course and commutes daily to Phagwara and then comes back by 4pm to  learn computers ( God Knows ) at some seedy joint . The catch in the whole scenario .. he studied in punjabi . How is he going to get his degree or a job or for the matter ? He knows basic english , has learnt his accounts, business mgt in Punjabi , is learning his computers which translates into him getting no job,no financial independence , frustration and he would join the ranks of the unemployed .This young man rues the fact that no one, guided him or taught him english or for the matter got him enrolled into the english medium school.
I probably have been living in the world of my dream and have been so removed from reality. The ground reality is education , we need to educate everyone from the ground up to bridge this divide. How is a child going to compete with a nursery kid of Chandigarh ,where the child does not know his days of the week in English? Umm , my motto persevere ...but I would thank here my friends Pavenjit , Rupali who were the first contributors :)) thank you sweets both of you . 

i am an x chromosone

I am an X- chromosome swimming upstream trying to edge out other X’s, (my girlie pals) to mate with the elusive godly Y. It’s a mystery, a mad-house of the jumble, the rat-race, the competitiveness and the frenzy to mate. We all try to outdo each other in this marathon but there is this sense of unease, a lingering feeling of something bad. Call it the feminine intuition, we have. This intuition serves me well and heeding to it, I stop in the upstream swim where time is of essence. Faint whispers, rumblings why I should not mate and realize my physical form seep to my consciousness and I go back to a conversation I had heard when I was still a part of the genes….She in her loud cackling voice was warning ,’Be careful ! Don’t give birth to a baby girl, when you conceive” “Dhyaan Rakhi...The first child should always be a boy, and then there is no tension, koi fikar nahi. Mrs .Sandhu warned her new NRI daughter in law. Giving birth to a baby girl was taboo and automatically ensured one of a life full of hassles from the minute she was born to the minute she married till she died.
Strange are the customs of progressive Punjab, when a girl is born, we do not rejoice, we lament over the birth. The minute the nurse comes out and announces that congratulations a baby girl is born, the smiles vanish and half-heartedly condolences are given masked under the fact that Lakshmi has come. So why is this deity falling short of our expectations? Or are we content to worship an idol but bur n the living, physical form as it does not bring us the God of Mammon? Parents, In-laws all have false smiles and the poor mother after her laborious child-birth wondered where she went wrong.Oh, this all happens only if we escape the monstrous Sex- Determination test. Punjab is dotted with countless fly- by the night clinics, quacks and midwives who for a paltry sum will tell whether the fetus is male or female. Even the savior of mankind the internet advertises these kits who for 50$ will help you at home. Is science a boon or a curse, I wonder? Then if I’m lucky to pass the first hurdle in this race called LIFE I’m given birth to. A real incident was narrated in hush tones hereby the spirits of a beautiful girl who was aborted and thrown to die where the carcasses of dead animals is thrown outside a village. A clearing house, if you please, but the little innocent baby was alive and the shrieking cries were heard by Dr. Harshindar Kaur who was passing by; she saw the most horrific sight where the baby was being eaten by rabid dogs.
And they, tell us to be born.
I still think whether it’s worth the struggle to be born, to be differentiated from the very moment one breaths. On my birth, from the mithai distributed to the announcements made everything is different. Money comes into play. No laddoos please, limited circle of people to distribute them and no fancy-shmancy lohri.Even when I’m growing up there is compromise on every step, clothes, food and always there is this realization of coming second. It is drilled into ‘her ‘that’ she is inferior and she is the weaker sex. I wonder who coined this term. What are we evaluating her? Physical strength or mental…. Or is it necessary to have muscles aka...To be stronger?
We are deprived of love, the circle of love which is what makes the world tick. Love is doled out in accordance with standings in the house; how many men in the house, and where the girl child comes in the sibling’s hierarchy…
I am growing up; trudging along school always on the guard against child molesters, pedophiles’, and the uncle ji’s who make us squirm by the so- improper touches and when we reach puberty hormones grow crazy. Even if we want platonic relationships they are misunderstood and long dying declarations are given professing love and if we scorn these we are burnt, slashed by a knife and the famous one acid is thrown by our lovers/Ranjhas of modern age Punjab.
Did I mention here, if I fall in love and heaven forbid if he is from another caste, we are lynched, shot killed burnt alive? Mr. Nilekani, a suggestion here please when you give us all a Unique Identity Number could you please tattoo the castes on the boy’s heads (North Indians) as love doesn’t seem to distinguish . I wonder if the, same caste blood is the same or different: one is a shade darker, thicker or thinner. The khap panchayats have a nose for this.
When I pass this hurdle if I marry when all the requisites of age, height, color of skin (has anyone ever heard of wheatish complexion??), dowry are met. Then the biggest litmus test comes, will I ever give birth to a male? I wonder why we forget the basic science lesson that it is the man’s doing and it’s him and him alone responsible for a baby boy/ baby girl. Countless times girls are aborted; mothers are killed, burnt or discarded for a fresher newer model to ensure the lineage. Why do we forget that woman, the creator who nourishes, provider the one who is the fulcrum of all life ; if she is decimated how will the species continue? Where do you think the extra woman are going to come, if all are killed; like the trend here? Common sense is uncommon in Punjab, Haryana where being a male, reproducing one makes one attain salvation…Over the years increasingly, a woman has to face sexual exploitation, molestation, rape, is subjected to heinous crimes, prostitution and is sold off bartered away.
All this doesn’t stop when one is older , older woman increasingly are preyed upon for their property, bludgeoned to death by servants, denied medical help by family as she is a burden on their finances and in many cases is left in one corner to die.
An interesting tradition comes into play in North India , where when a woman dies her shroud i.e. the clothes which she wears for her final journey are also given by her parents, absolving the in-laws of even the mere expense of her clothes. When did she stop being a burden, may I ask?

I am dejected, shattered, lie defeated in this circle of life which I beget and die for.

Every 26 minutes a woman was molested. Every 34 minutes a woman was raped. Every 42 minutes a woman was sexually harassed. Every 43 minutes a woman was kidnapped and every 93 minutes a woman was killed. Husbands murdered fourteen wives every day. Mind it, these are just the cases that were reported and recorded by the police.
Ravneet Sangha
ravneetsangha@hotmail.com

domestic violence

What exactly is Domestic Violence? It is the violence happening within the home towards a family member and can be physical, sexual and emotional in nature. Domestic violence against women is what it is associated with 99.9% of the time. In Punjab the scenario is extremely shocking and economic prosperity isn’t always a sign of social progress. The social fabric of Punjab is minutely interwoven with the threads of class, caste and community. Another factor is that status of women is not defined as there is an absence of a homogenous social cultural and economic structure. There are huge regional differences in this tiny state which may seem large –hearted but is quite small. The obvious diversities in women’s situation in the different regions of the State extend to health, literacy, education and sex-ratio of mortality, employment, incidence of poverty, political participation and so forth. These are all in turn dependent on the existing levels of development, availability of natural resources, policies of the state government and regional socio- economic beliefs.
The recent gender study of 2006 indicates that dowry deaths, torture or cruel treatment of women in northern states including Delhi and some Union territories such as Chandigarh, Daman and Diu, Dadra leads to shorter life span in adult women. The southern states have a longer life, better sex –ratios, for that matter the tribal groups also have a better ratio than the women of Punjab due to the historical prevalence of matrilineal, women’s control over property and resources and their greater participation in decision making.
The success of the Green Revolution had provided an impetus in economic jump to the Punjabis but relegated the Punjabi women into the private domain. They lost their economic independence, and their higher status within their class, because with increased income, and consequent higher social status for the families as whole, women were the first to be withdrawn from the work force as symbols of the newly gains status.
Violence is an integral part of the patriarchal work system and Punjab is one of the most feudal states maybe in stiff competition to Haryana .Previously she had to bear the family or the culture but now the market forces have also ganged up against her ..The use of PNDT Techniques resulting in female feticide. In other words the modernization, urbanization has resulted in increase in violence be it at home, or the workplace or sexual harassment at Workplace, Molestation and Eve Teasing. Another factor is the increase in alcohol and psychotropic drugs which has resulted in increase in menace. Women in Punjab also face the pressure due to patriarchal and feudal values which are prevalent and women are not oriented to come back to their parental house in case of dispute with her husband and in-laws and since either there are very less support systems available they either bear the torture or commit suicide. This was highlighted by Dr. Gurcharan S. Kalkat, Chairman Farmer’s Commission Punjab. In his extensive public life he has come to this conclusion that girls/ women feel alienated and left out due to the pressures of societal mechanisms. In a span of a day and half two women reported under conditions of anonymity of the torture meted out to them by their in-laws and husbands. Gurdev K. Sangha in her present tenure as Punjab State women Commission states that there is violation of liberty, human rights and violence leading to physical blows. Nandini( name changed) , has a leading position in the media was so severely beaten up by her husband that the Dr. in attendance was stunned and warned her that any further blow would leave her a paraplegic. .This senseless violence is not limited to a single class or it’s not demarcated to the lower middle classes, the rich are also prey to it. Women in the higher strata are actually more submissive to this kind of pain which leaves physical scars but has deeper mental ones. The department in a leading private hospital in Chandigarh states that 75% of the depression cases are of abuse which is more often emotional and there is a rising incidence of physical abuse and harassment.
Punjab is also being known as the NRI widow state where the plight of abused married girls who are deserted by their husbands who actually to put it crudely enjoy with them for the stipulated 3-week holiday and then leaves them waiting. This is an alarming situation in the state of Punjab where 42% of the girls get trapped into these so called savior marriages. The commission states that poverty; lure of a foreign country and promises of more money and the ultimate dream of immigration makes these young girls the scape goat.



There is not a single day when we do not hear or read about Domestic Violence against women. Be it for the cruelty of husbands and in-laws for dowry or burning the brides irrespective of culture or background women in India are becoming victims of this crime. The submissive quality in women in India and the general mindset of the society that women are physically and emotionally weaker than the males make them vulnerable to domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a silent termite eating away the foundations of the society leaving the framework with its vestiges of public personas and façade intact but sadly empty, hollow from the inside which would crumble at the first blow.This problem which we can’t conveniently blame anyone or the aliens or the Martians. The onus of this problem lies on us ; it’s the collective us which turn a blind eye .the sheer indifference which is plaguing the society is the root cause of the rise of domestic violence , the abuse goes along unabated as unless it happens to someone close incidents like are skimmed over. Indian women consider their husbands in place of their God. How can we expect Domestic violence to end when women are still reluctant to report abuse to the police and suffer as if it is their duty to their husbands? Another interesting factor the psychiatrists note is that there is an innate sense of shame in reporting this or the first step in even admitting that abuse exists in the relationship.
Vijay a veteran in the department of Women’s commission has horrifying tales to tell which prick the soul and he remarks,’ Women are treated , abused with electric prods, burnt, starved and in some cases which are being brought to light are used as sex-slaves. This degradation of women is in the region which reveres the largest amount of Goddesses in India. The increasing criminalization of society, media images of violence, poor enforcement of legal provision and rising incidents of alcoholism and addiction along with erosion of traditional values have all added to this violence which is silent but at the same time is creating large noise to which we all need to waken up to.
As Gandhiji said, ‘We must be the change we want to see in the world.” It is up to all of us to take collective, positive responsibility to change the status of women and not be passive bystanders. And as , change is messy do not get deterred by it but change with what you have , where you are and let the natural order of things fall in place. No action is small it actually perpetuates a storm.

Ravneet Sangha

who am i??

Saying that you are proud to be an Indian isn’t much different than saying you’re born on a Monday- you are just stating a fact not an achievement to be proud of. Are you even aware of the fact what it means to be born as an Indian? We remember our identity as clockwork only when the national holiday comes. The free day albeit with full salary is a day of rejoice not because of the underlying sentiments but because we get paid to be home. What an achievement. Rajnish, an office goer at the Local courts is happy and nonchalantly says, it’s fun because it gets combined with the week-end, and thus I don’t need to go to work.
The ridiculously, outlandish celebrations in shades of orange and green the loud sloganeering, and the louder caricatures of Bharat Mata portrayed in a white sari with a green border Hema Malini style. The overdose of patriotic color and the customary display of flags everywhere die out when the de rigueur ribbon cutting is over and laddoos are distributed.
Why no thoughtful, intelligent, low-key, austere function where one remembers the sacrifice of the soldiers who have died in battle-fields for us? Why do we have to prove that we are Indian by loud over- the top functions? Do we wake up for one day , discharge our national duty for that particular time frame finish and the rest of the 364 days we get divided into narrow , compartments of religion or state identities. Where has all this bigotry come? We all shout Mera Bharat mahaan from the day we enter our nursery classes but according to a recent survey carried out by an online net magazine:
If you live in Punjab,or another part of India, are you an Indian citizen, or how do you see yourself first and foremost?
As an Indian
As a Punjabi
As a Sikh
As a Sikh- Indian
The shameful results are as follows in order of choices given: 8.7%, 9.3%, 69.8%, and 12.2%.
Isn’t this shocking? Why are we being fragmented into compartments by religion? Dr GS kalkat says he is an Indian living in Punjab practicing Sikhism. Let us at least follow this octogenarian’s diktat and not get narrowed by the grandiosity of religion. Simply being born into as Sikh family or a Hindu family earns you nothing. By mere happenstance you find yourself linked to Sikh religion. You are given a basic understanding of your religion which maybe any..Hinduisim, Islamic, Jewish, Christianity or even Buddhism. There is a certain amount of assimilation of religion via the media, intenet,pamphlets, books visits to the temples but does that make you a Hindu, Sikh, Muslim?
So, does this make you to be Sikh for eg? Richard Dawkins, in his book The God Delusion mentions a pet peeve of his. He loathes it when children are identified as Christian children, or Muslim children etc...
Why do we start labeling them? These labels are cultural context to the children in which they define themselves and they obtain a sense of moral guidance. Dawkin however insists that morality comes from within and resists the proposed monopoly structured religion claims on human morality.
A poll participant called Rabia Sultan from across the border, Multan says we are human beings first and last nothing else. It is important that we should all have a cohesive national identity as opposed to personal religious identity. On the last count, there was no significant medical discovery or break through which professed in distinguishing the color of the blood by its religious identity. There is however the lucrative Nobel Prize for medicine which is up for grabs till immemorial if anyone happens to decipher the code.
As a nation we need to embrace oneness rather than get sold to the highest bidder in the dirty game of politics.

saag and makki di roti

Why saag and makki di roti?

The common man's saag and makki di roti with a dollop of butter on it which melts and makes everyone salivate far and wide. It even finds mention in the newest  controversial wikipedia which states it as a spinach or mustard leaf based dish eaten in South Asia with bread such as makki( roti made of corn flour /maize flour and is yellow in color). This dish is eaten by Punjabis daily , and is tempered with garnishing served with pickles and radish to bring out its flavor served with buttermilk or the common man's lassi!

The combination of saag with makki di roti brings forth memories of mouth watering food, a manna from heaven. It might be loosing out to fancier , quick ,instant food but nothing can match the dish which is slowly cooked best outdoors in a pot on wooden logs. This method of slow cooking brings forth the inherent strong flavors making it a must for every punjabi worth his makhan.

Jugraj Dhillon Sohi , says , 'I can eat it everyday for winters three times a day.This rustic soulful ,nutritious delicious food is Number in everyone's household. No one can pinpoint why , but it is the staple ,and is the trademark of Punjab along with Butter Chicken, rajmah, alu ke paranthe.Sammy Gill says, love to eat it but with bajra or wheat chapatti. 

Saag and makki di roti ,, an unbeatable combination and every Punjabi swears by it ! India andPakistan sarson is entwined with village life. Sarson is a resilient plant that resists infestation an fit is not easily affected by adverse weather. It is therefore immensely suitable to an unsophisticated rural economy. 

Sarson fields also form an important part of Bollywood movies. Since time immemorial the romance na dthe budding love has been immortalized in the fields of blooming yellow mustard fields. Every movie which has a love story angle shows the hero romancing the heroine in the fields of sarson symbolizing love blossoming .

The mustard fields thus prove to be unimportant export , a) for movie locations, b) for producing which is agreeably the soul food of every Punjabi , be it in India or abroad !. Infact , taking a cue from this Markfed started packaging sarson da saag , an fit has cornered the niche where ever there is a considerable Asain Population reaching to Middle East , UK , USA, Canada and other European nations.

As an NRI living in England Dr .Nirmal says, I enjoy it immensely but the flavors which one gets in punjab cannot be matched by England's mustard leaves. Interestingly , on websites to Punjabis can't pinpoint why they love it , they just do .Nothing can explain the weakness , it's in the blood.

Ravneet sangha 

punjab and its padhai

Punjab and its 'padhai'

The education scene can be described in one word, 'dismal'. In fact , it is a common sight in the villages which make up most of Punjab where teachers bask in the sun , knitting sweaters, drinking tea; that is if they are attending school. The situation has gone so bad that , keeping tuitions are kept by the simple illiterate folks as they cannot teach their own children. The going rate is Rs.200 , per subject and for English it's higher being Rs. 350/-. How and what is the level of education imparted where a daily farm laborer earns Rs 180/ per day ? 

Education emergency is a word which is correctly coined for the situation today in Punjab. The school systems defunct, and the nature of the teachers is not voluntary but now its job-oriented where they work for money . The duty starts in the morning ends at 2 pm. earlier in the 1960's teachers taught from the heart , they were respected , thought of as Guru's (  a person who dispels darkness) and they inculcated an all-round education . The dedication level was so high that children from villages came in the forefront and we had officers or  army officers; whereas deterioration is so high now ,that simple maths is rocket science for them

Satayajit Thind, from Ludhiana says,

"Even without the statistics, my experience in working with the manufacturing plants, companies, i have a lot of opportunity to interact with potential candidates for jobs. It has always been a wish that we employ local talent in Engg / Management jobs, but every time I interview a candidate from a rural back ground, it's such a pain to see, that they have practically no education. Unfortunately not even literate to frame a simple sentence . Education  is NIL. From understanding the basics of their subjects to writing a basic application asking for leave of absence candidates are found wanting. We have no choice but to recruit candidates from other states.

No, it would not be fair to blame any one government, the malaise is deeper and rot deadly. 

For example an institution like PAU is an institute gone absolutely bad.  I am an alumini of PAU but am sorry to say that am not so very proud of the state they are in. 

For PAU, I blame in-breeding in professors, teachers, in all faculty. We all know that nature abhors inbreeding. It leads to diseases which are genetically challenging. 

Compare this with some of the good practices followed by leading universities in the world, where they don"t allow you to take up a job as a professor immediately after completing your PhD. Do a head count as to how many PhD. in PAU got jobs in PAU after their degrees. 

So you have poor research , poor candidates and a status quo-ist approach. There is no one to challenge the thought process, no one to bring in fresh blood. 

I am not an educationist but I would offer the following plan to set up things right to set the system right.

1. Hire the best educationist, Professor, Eminent Personality and give him a salary which matches with the best in the world. ( No lets be professional and not get tied down by emotional quotient on this one. We want results)

2. Under this gentleman or lady, constitute a board or a body of eminent personalities in the field of education. ( Avoiding political patronage as much as possible) 

3. Give them full powers to over haul the system.

4. The moment you want to overhaul the system, the teachers brigade will strike. Be ready for it. 

5. One way to tackle or weed out the dead wood of teachers could be a board or examination to check their knowledge base. Only fit teachers be retained.

6. It must be mandatory for any teacher to teach in rural schools for half their career span. 

7. Absconding teachers from village schools can be tackled by the village panchayats. let the attendence registers be counter signed by the Panch members.

8. Termination in case teachers are found not attending school or if the mandatory village education tenures have been found subverted.

9. Provide a budget as if there is no tomorrow. 

10. All appointments to teachers should be merit based. Exams, interviews, and then counseling. Most teachers take to teaching as an easy job. It's not just a job it's a process of nation building. 

11. And the most important thing, the salaries of teachers, professors should be the highest across any government segment. More than the bureaucrats, or any other state department. 

12. Recognize them for their contribution and encourage them with good perks and the best talent will start to go towards teaching.

13. It's an urgent need. If we start today, we will see results after two decades. 

Its not exhaustive,,,,of course, we need action.

Education has been recognized as the single tool which brings forward a state. Punjab lags behind shamefully , we need to not go on paper reports , but on ground reality where if one goes to the village , children are painfully shy , cannot frame basic sentences and have little or nothing knowledge of science. This is because it is a paid profession , it has changed from the ethical voluntary and respected profession of yester yore. What has also made it worse is that the selection and promotion is now based majorily on Sifarish and 'pressure' from above. And if that is not enough the teachers resort to strike if their demands are not met . They end up holding the state to ransom . The teachers should be promoted via competent authority which consists of an independent set of highly competent individuals who are incorruptible. 

Previously , in the 60's a teacher would be paid roughly around rs30 but now the same teacher draws a salary of rs 18,000. Gurdev Kaur in the year 1960 , drew salary of rs 30 in Mithapur School , where as now the teacher draws a salary of Rs 20000, but the level of teaching has deteriorated absymally. The situation is so  bad that children in the primary school cannot do simple addition , subtraction orally. 

The nail in the coffin in the sector is that the teachers themselves are not competent. How will they impart education if they themselves are not educated in the art of education?  WE need teachers who have been selected on merit because the rural parent himself is by and large illiterate and is poor , he would rather have the child helping out and contributing to the house income than studying and be a burden. The parent himself is so scared to talk to 'Masterji ' that he cannot question on behalf of the child. This vicious circle can only be broken if we have empathetic teachers who are sensitive to the need of the child who is shy , not confident and has a host of problems . For him coming to school itself is a struggle and then to learn and combat the ABC's which do not offer him deliverance from the poverty and struggle  . It is important that we educate our teachers to be counsellors first and then teachers second as they will give us tomorrow.

Punjab needs an immediate complete overhaul so that we save our most precious resource the child who hungers for the basics which are his birthright and we are guilty of  mortgaging his future at the hands of corruption , a malaise which runs deep and is nightmarish. To recover it back and to put it back on track we have to follow the old proverb,'Give a man a fish , he will eat for a day , teach him how to fish and he will eat for a life time',Confucious.

What Punjabis , require is motivation for the child of today and tomorrow so that he may be independent , we need to give them subsidy or an easy way out , what is needed is to motivate the child in the right environment to stand up to meet the challenges of tomorrow and not be left behind .

Diary of A Madamji

Hi All,
This is not the fictitious account of Mother Superior of India ( I swear not to have any leaks from the Indian Congress) nor is it a burlesque account of the 'Madame" ; however you might wish it to be!


It is merely a new identity along with the names I have during my journey called life. It all started as a dream and after procrastinating which I am famous for by the way I started a little project where by the village kids come home to study English . They are way better in science , maths  by the way and that too in Punjabi . Hats off to them ,imagine the depth , intelligence whereby they learn about the world , history , the constitution , geography ,and all we take for granted in plain english . I mean , I am stumped, gobsmacked all those adjectives of Captain Haddock ..well they apply to me at this moment.
It started off with three kids and suddenly we are 70 kids strong and growing . I don't how this happened, no advertisement nothing they walked in big small , short tall, thin , beautiful , with hair in spikes, plaits with ribbons , some  with clips, some with a saucy pony tail swinging away but one thing in common , shy timid quiet , a burning desire to study , with soul searching eyes and a smile which always wins my heart. Do you know you can always tell if the smile reaches ones eyes or not ?
I plan to introduce them to you as we move along... my partner in crime Simer is away to Andaman's causing Tsunami  and earthquakes along the way she goes but she joins me back after searching for the biggest rock she can dive for !

12/4/12

never give in

Never Give In

Never Give In is the motto of a popular boarding school , The Lawrence School , Sanawar and it holds so true for the tale of two gentleman from Jalandhar City.

 Manjeet Singh,resident of village Tajpur and  Bikramjeet Singh resident of village Pholriwal  were drug addicts who  were gone beyond reason . They were wasting their lives ,intoxicated beyond help and who had been written off by their families .Manjit Singh was an addict for the last 14 years and his family had tried every treatment possible. Be it getting a chip put under his skin so that repels and makes him vomit when he would take his next fix. Even to the extent to tying him in the room , detoxifying him over the years fourteen or fifteen times but to no avail. Nothing seemed to work.

Bikram jeet Singh , aged 34 years was the same, a drug addict who would readily do anything for his drug habit . he had lost innumerable jobs ,a s no one would hire him ,and if they did hire he would ruin his chances by intoxicating himself silly .

By chance, Manjeet singh aged 38 years read a book six years ago called NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS- JUST FOR TWO DAYS , which changed him into a new man. He has been sober, drug free for the last six years. Mannjit is a new man, reborn with strength, vitality,and with a wish to save other addicts who are spiraling their lives to hell . He and his friend   Bikramjeet are leading drug free lives, completely de-toxified and are repaying back to the society. They have started a Life Care Rehabilitation Centre. It is a non-profitable organization started three years ago which follows all government guidelines. It is located in village tajpur. Manjit says, that they have 50 patients who are currently admitted with them and they have 40 out- patients who have successfully finished the program and are clean. They have a unique program where there is a complete follow- up for the next two years. It is crucial that the patients be regularly counseled and rehabilitated back into society so fit back and lead normal lives. This ensures themt o be at ease. Manjit says they have a very strict routine, and they only admit patients if they have been detoxified by a certified hospital at first and then they counsel them via trained psychologists, meditation and yoga classes. Everyday they study their bible, Narcotics Anonymous and in detail expound on the thought given for the day.This leads them to understand and to become confident. The centre in fact builds the soul, human body and spirit which had been ravaged by the destructive and harmful horrors of the drug.

Manjit also told that the psychologists are usually women and they are discouraged by their parents to take up this job They have three psychologists and a doctor couple team who work wonders and are very patient in their dealings.

This team is very dedicated who make their case history  and are hands on.

Manjit Singh and Bikram jeet are ahhpily married with children leading normal lives and have reclaimed their life. They are giving back to the society as positive citizens and their main aim is to bring back as many drug addicts on the right path via counseling, yoga, medication after they have become clean. They only do this after the patient has kicked his habit and then they work on his mind making  him strong mentally to resist the lure and temptation

The temporary death of an iPhone

My phone died. I can't say it plainer than that , its dead, kaput finished and gone to the place where phones go and rest their hardware /software oops their bones . It's been in coma for awhile , I've been giving it CPR via the electric shocks .. plugging it into the charger hoping to revive it but today it just decided to die.
In fact , I have sent it the repair shop in hope of getting the last sanjeevani booti / or a miracle lease so that I can remain connected to my life, my existence. How in the world am I going to take my impromptu pictures, my thousand one thoughts which seem to filter in at the most bizarre moments, my music , and most of all the telephone contacts. who would ever give me Masterji's number ( my tailor) ? The phone which doubles up as my friend conduit .. well i call up text Skype, whats app and remain sane.And not to mention my dear old face book adda'.
I am open to suggestions for a requiem and also am planning to hold a wake . The scenario does seem dim, about buying a replacement , agricultural prices are going down , the farmer ( let's not talk about that one here )....
I , though marvel at life before the discovery of smart phones. Life was simpler or complicated; that I have to decide . Coming back on track , you will see my smile only and only if my sweet battered phone comes back ( I wish life was like those tearjerker soap operas where after the advertisement all was hunky -dory).

You can RSVP your condolences to my account . :(((

Smile and More Smiles

I  had been procrastinating . I had been thinking and thinking about this particular idea and not the Abhishek kind please . I wish though I was paid that kind of money by the Birlas. I wanted to start a loosely formed body /trust whereby i could teach village kids ( government school only ) and also take care of their medical needs . I want all of them to grow up to be healthy , confident energetic kids who are not shy to speak their minds , or to speak aloud. Well , I popped the question and with a go -ahead started all this. I also , went on my favorite wall .. Facebook  and asked  friends , family and a special group who are all behind this venture.
Well it all started with three kids , Suman , Sahil, Sonia .. all kids from the village . Young bright inquisitive who want to learn and conquer the world like any child. Next day multiplied to Muskann, Manisha, Simrandeep and then two of the little boys who work t home. All of us call them Chotus, well let me introduce you to Hari Kumar , age 11 , Ram Kumar age 11 who are from across the border but not close to Kathmandu but this side( this how they explained where they are from ) . They speak a gibberish of hindi , mixed with nepalese. They ran away from school because the teacher beat them up but remember their alphabet and 1-99.Hari , knows nothing and his achievement next morning aka today was one .
The journey is long , hard and arduous but it requires two things ..commitment and patience. Ram went back to the dera( for the city folk ; it is a settlement where they stay and are fed and looked after ) asked his thekedar for Rs 10 to buy a copy to write his alphabet and his math work. This is inspire of my telling him not to spend any money . A young girl , Kiran class tenth wants to be taught english so that she can clear her boards in English . The irony , she wants to pay me and that left me tears . I had no answer , except a nod. She is being joined by 4 more kids who have cleared their ninth class exams . I am not condemning the school system nor do I want to say anything about the govt. all I know is that they need help. I will keep you all posted on a weekly basis :))