Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Lahore Times


They look the same, they smell the same and have the ear nose ears all in the right place, and even when you touch them they feel human! I am not talking about the android robot offerings from Honda but my cousins across the border. I happened to visit Lahore, a whirlwind tour but so much fun. Yes, it is an Islamic country, different from the secular overtones that we have (sometimes questionable but largely true); there are mosques everywhere, beautiful buildings of worship with intricate architecture and amazing work.
Lahore city never sleeps, and read all about it here, it never shuts down, there is a sense of action, a spirit that lingers in every corner. If one were to roam around in the city at any hour, well people are pulsating with life and a spirit that is essentially Punjabi. Yes, we have an invisible border line dividing us drawn by some guy who had no idea how to divide a nation where people are culturally the same, eat live speak the same language. It was ironical, crossing a painted red line I was in Pakistan, the country I love to hate. Pakistan is a rival country that we want to best every cricket match. As one retired Judge Shabbar Rizvi said, the media hypes the match /contest to such an extent that it translates into the next war between the countries. What is this animosity?
Coming to this a bit later, I have my two bits on this. Lahore is an extremely manicured city (the parts where I visited) it has its colonies or societies which are lifted off Europe, landscaped by some designer, luxury personified. This portion of the population lives in a bubble of luxury competing for designer brands and giving the Japanese a run for their money over the obsession for all that is ‘phoren’. The country’s swish set is singlehandedly supporting the sales of every major designer brand and the current obsession with Tory Burch along with supporting the Belgium diamond market.
Thank God, the Lahori babes have an intuitive mindset like us Punjabis! I would hate for them to miss out on this mad rush to be identified by designer brands and the bigger rocks. It makes the heart warm just seeing the bigger bags and hands manicured with the perfect cut stone, glittering away and blinding the common folks.
However, the typical Lahori outranks us over his amazing capacity to eat! The foodie is in gastronomical heaven here. Every nook, corner, and, street has a specialty which is mouth watering. Food and its preparation and when its meant to be eaten along with its accompaniments have been perfected especially it seems at their French counterparts knees. And then the amazing cafes and coffee jaunts. A particular street which has more pot holes than any self respecting street in Punjab has the maximum number of designer places and hang out joints where the swish set is seen and heard.
I saw the best of feudal Pakistan Punjabis that are the elitist who live in a bubble of luxury from a time of the past, just that the transportation is now the favored BMW and the big mean Land Cruiser SUV. Of course, the simple servant – driver does not raise his head or his eyes, servile; his position is a different story. The difference is too great and if one looks glaring, but as they say we all are a study in contrasts. The friends I have there are typical Punjabi, with big hearts and open arms and a can- do attitude adopting to the changing agricultural scenario and keeping pace with the world. They also have an underlying radical fundamentalism for their religion, which I think, is justified in the times of Islamic- baiting done by the west. That, is a sensitive topic and not to be touched here.
Yes, the women are beautiful and I was coming to that; but we have more freedom and equality! India rocks, simply put it that. Of course, love on both sides of the border is fraught with drama as we can see!
But, yes visit Lahore to be born, too peel off layer after layer of a city that is immersed in history with architectural delights touching every major religion of the sub-continent.And , yes to shop to one's heart delight for the amazing clothes where the cuts are unbelievable.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The League of Extra Ordinary Grey haired Women


The League of Extra Ordinary Grey Haired Women


I saw the most amazing tattoo today on my friend’s wall; for the uninitiated it is not a boundary wall, nor the wall of my friends house but our friendly neighborhood networking /adda’s! The graphic description of two women who were showing their delicate backsides standing on a beach with an amazing sunset at the back; and the old woman condescendingly saying to the other,” Don’t worry my dear, mine used to be an eagle too”. Time and gravity sort of distorted it.
Reality hits, reality bites! Imagine my surprise when my hair (who have their own leftist union) just refuses to take color. They just don’t want assimilate color, nope nada zilch is the scenario. As, my Basanti says,” Memsaab five rupees and kesh kala it is. “
The streak is getting longer and darker or is it whiter? Visions of grandeur and elegance of Nafisa Ali and Waheeda Rehman and likes sweep my mind in slow motion.  I can imagine myself walking down in a perfect chiffon sari with a pearl string and an elegant chignon with a perfect line of white hair blazing testament to my maturity and advancing years.
Alas, I wish my hair behaved in this picture perfect way and in the same fashion as society wants us to be. However the hair behave with a mind of there not being subjugated by the norms as life dictates. Society, wants women to be seen and not heard. She has these unwritten laws which one has to follow, look beautiful be razor stick thin, have the right curves, and the worst one be white. What does white mean, or the weird one written in the obnoxious matrimonial advertisements ‘ wheatish complexion’? Why are we obsessed with fair and lovely, the bane of our existence?
Coming back to my unruly, wild black peppered with grey hair is seeking an independence that is so denied to us.
Women are being killed on the altar of the saddest of all crimes of being of the wrong X chromosome, of not bringing in enough dowry, and the bizarrest of all a Karnataka Judge advocating that a woman should bear her husband’s cruelty as it is her duty to bear his displeasure.
Where do these paragons of virtue come from brandishing law and dictates to the better half?
Women need to be left alone, let them be what they want to be, if we want to be grey well grey it, in fact the fastest selling novel of all times also has a shade of grey.
We, in totality are a league to be reckoned with. The only way we can overcome the superficial and hypocritical double standards set by men who incidentally came from us and not the biblical rib is to be strong and bring out the reserves of confidence that is in us.
However, till this revolution occurs maybe when MNC’s stop fooling us with miracle hair color that will make you vibrant, and you will have luxurious fly by night hair it is another trip to the salon, or as in my case my trusty Basanti who will try once again to color and tame my hair with age old secrets of mehendi and you guessed it, oil!
 Ravneet Sangha

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

innocence and all


I live in a pind , you know a hamlet lovingly described by writers all over the world. Mine has all the usual ingredients found in every village of Punjab, four or five gurudwaras, a couple of temples, at least one Muslim pir’s grave looked after by the wakf Board of Pakistan, one or two baba’s who have localized following promising a trip to phoren, and the other finding a right groom. There is also the village pond, the swimming pool where buffaloes, kids and fish swim in perfect harmony.
Green fields all around, a slithery snake like dusty road encompasses it and leads it to the next one; we are as Hardy put it ‘far from the maddening crowd’ surround my pind. In fact, the villagers also live in the modern world but are still caught in the medieval times. In fact, my maid Raman, who finishes her work so that she can watch her favorite soap at 11: 30 am sharp on Star Plus. She loves being transported into the age of heavy impressive saris, the flowing perfect hair and the jewelry thinking that is how people live in big cities. Her idea of a perfect life is the romance so portrayed by the actors perfected to the hilt. One day, she was very listless and I jokingly asked her,” what happened to your serial?” don’t you want to watch it? She replied, no, no I am not well. Every day when I go back home I get fever and in the morning I get better and I come to work, but today I feel a bit weak.
This carried on for a few days and I remembered to ask her again and she told me, oh I am fine now. My grandmother told me to take a dirty serving spoon and sleep with it at night. So last night, I did this and put it with me to bed and now I am better.
I, as you know am still dumbfounded and quiet.
The other day, as all housewives I go through crazy moments of cleaning madness (lot of women will nod to this one!) and have two adorable labs that are higher in the pecking order than me! One of them, the older one Simba is loosing hair maybe coz’ he misses a mate or is just plain old growing old (that is one thing we all are denying in the face) and I asked Raman, to dust him too with a broom as his hair were all over and I was getting tired of dusting his hairballs from everywhere.
Well, Madam Miss Know it all, turned around and said that if she did that, he would get a cough. I am just learning not to laugh and just nod my head in acquiescence.
She, like the rest of India, is still caught in a time warp and still clings on to the time old superstitions that govern them. They are not bothered about an I-phone 5 launch, whether it is slimmer fatter or lighter or how much it costs, she lives her simply not bothered whether we scale Mars or not, or who dies or who lives. Life for them is living daily form sun up and sun down and living it stoically minus the humdrums of us hyper class.
As I write, this it’s Thursday and she has just informed me, she has to leave by 6:30pm as she has to go pay obeisance to Baba Miyan Sai because he cured her of her leucoderma. I know she is talking of blind faith but I’m thinking take –out for dinner!
Ravneet Sangha 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Down the rabbit's hole


 Down the rabbit’s Hole …


Where is society headed?  A society is a loosely congregation of people who live together governed by unwritten laws. Nowadays, we are governed by zilch, nada. Do we have any morals, any standards any etiquettes left or they have become extinct as the dodo.
Mythology is what will become of the society that was once famed for its tradition, an unwritten set of laws, which governed and separated us from animals defining us as humans.  The famous comic illustration books Amar Chitra katha have already hired designers to recreate the long lost era.
India as a whole seems to be on a path of self destruction where cartooning is taken as an offense as in the case of Aseem Trivedi, a high court judge rules that violence or wife beating is allowed and a woman should bear it. We go through the worst periods of history where corruption is at its zenith and one forgets how many zeroes figure in the scams hitting the country. The public still lives in hope, silently picking up its pieces and living on daily foraging a life.  States where a woman is easily bartered and killed, as he does not bring dowry or the mere fact that she is not producing a male child.
Why do we forget that it’s definitely not in her hands?
Another shameful episode marks the degradation, is the physical violence that a woman bears trapped in a loveless, emotionally blackmailing marriage. Why?
‘Indian law is spineless says’, Daljeet Singh a blogger and a businessman based in Delhi. A woman whether she belongs to the highest echelons of the society or to the lowest. Violence is prevalent everywhere it does not see color creed or money. Satinder Kaur, an Nri corporate woman remarks, women need to be strong, and women need to collectively raise their voice.
The violence which is explained as falling of the stairs, a knock on the door, corridors is hidden the bruise fades from eggplant to yellow and then nothing; but the scars remain etched in a woman’s heart her psyche and the tears which have no value for this deaf mute society. Empathy has finished or maybe we didn’t know bout it. Our religion that has droves flocking back to it, the spirituality that has the world under its spell is actually just a farce, the best money making business in the world.  Spirituality exists, not because it feeds the soul but because it feeds the Gods of Mammon. My apologies, to the real gurus, though.
 A Professor in a local engineering College aptly sums up the, hypocritical and two-faced Janus of a society we live in, ‘Two things that India lacks are major propellants of this culture- Education and respect of women. Men going out for a drink is socializing, women going out is frowned upon and obscene names are used, Lady in our society is for doing Chula, mulching the buffaloes, raising the kids and serving a hot meal to the drunkard husband whenever he comes back from a binge session. Drinking by men is called machismo, but a lady who socializes is looked down upon. Women need to fight and raise their voices and if nothing works, Bobbitization will!’
We live in a patriarchal society where men rule the roost, literally coupled with insecurity woman face physical abuse and mental abuse all day long.  The insecurities of men who do not have jobs are drunkards, drug addicts or have other failings translate these by hitting out. Lashing out like a bully is the only answer and sexual abuse which a woman bears silently.
A lady based in Mumbai, Rinnie K. Gill who is a singer points out that ‘ lack of financial independence is what really makes women face abuse. She is first looking out for herself and then her children, and she sinks into a vicious circle spiraling down to an abyss.
Every day we have reports, incidents of infants found behind bushes with the umbilical cord intact, or maimed by birds, with insect bites and what do we do, shake our heads politely, murmur the noises and make sympathetic noises, but do we do something, no. One asks, what can we do, well start somewhere, if one doesn’t get on the road how will you end the journey? The society in short needs a radical upheaval, economic success, prosperity all follow as is the law of nature but till we don’t learn how to give respect to the mother of all, we cannot take a step forward. Nature wreaks havoc and fury as she rebels against this lawlessness and imbalance. The atheists who smugly ask where is your God at this moment, I would just say one thing, the higher presence is with in you, look within and the purity shall shine through. We, just need to unmask the science, the godly power to pull ourselves out of the rabbit hole just like Alice but here not in fiction but in reality.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

the other side of the story


The other side of the story

Do we listen? Do we hear? Do we see? Have we become like Gandhi’s three famous monkeys?  The society is ready to believe the worst, rather than investigate or give benefit of doubt to the other party. The media hype, or sensationalism created sways us in believing the worst without proper investigation or detailed analysis of the matter at hand. This is being highlighted in numerous cases where newly married girls take advantage of the cover of the strict laws in the country and victimize men. The purview of the law states that women get the right and have the cover to be saved but when it is mis-used to exploit and to twist to one’s own connivances, then that is illegal. The misinterpretation to suit one’s monetary benefits and to use the guise of the weaker sex to make money or gain undue advantage all comes when we take the girl’s side, rather than listening to two sides of the story.
Life is adjustment in both partners and it is mutually beneficial to iron out difficulties rather than fight, instigate and then subject mental cruelty on the fact that the law is on one’s side merely as you are of the right sex, i.e. female.
There are stark differences cropping up in the behavior all because of this.
In another glaring example, the media created a hype when a young baby who had been born premature and was denied phototherapy facility in the civil hospital. The news went viral when it started running in the news channel further taken up with the chief minister office that the nurse was negligent, inhuman in asking for a mere Rs 200 rather than letting her live. The nurse was suspended, all benefits taken away.
The doctor on duty was away to Chandigarh on official duty. In fact, the treatment of giving phototherapy is not to save life, it is to cure jaundice (a myth); but the practice still continues. The hospital charges Rs 50 / day and the parents had to deposit Rs 200 for the last four days. The doctor who does not want to be named came out vehemently saying that the situation in the civil and general hospital is pathetic and dismal. There is one specialized doctor in the gynecology department. That doctor has to work 24 hours with no other doctor to replace her, plus deal with emergency and the specialized service via 108-ambulance service. How is a human supposed to work without replacement? If one does not have the right conditions to work, paint peeling off the walls cracked doorways, in sufficient nurses, lack of working equipment.
The Punjab Government had taken out an advertisement for 300 specialist doctors for which; only 40 doctors applied for and 13 came on duty. There is a huge shortfall. The media will lambast the hospital, the doctor with out investigating fully the scenario. PreetKamal , a housewife from Model Town actually thought that the inhumane act of not letting a baby be in the photo-therapy unit led her to being killed for a mere rs200; but after speaking to the suspended nurse who told her side of the story, she reiterated. It seemed that the father played the sob story of the chit to the hilt.
As a society we always are ready to condemn, being judgmental without giving one the benefit of doubt.  As, a retired Colonel  Avtar Singh remarked,’ in the army we were always told to check both sides of the situation and then attack and defend. Nowadays, people just rush in, a sign of the times.”
This is so true, of the times. We all need to tread cautiously and not pass judgment so quickly. In this case, we collectively condemned the health officials and tried and passed a sentence whereas they were making the best of the situation where there hands are tied with an old tired handicapped system.  Be gentle to the caretakers other wise they will also not step in to save us fearing recrimination, reprimands and court cases.

Ravneet Sangha