Monday, July 29, 2013

Answer needed by a simple woman


What do I say? What do I write? I sound like a broken record harping over the same ol’ story again but maybe I offer a fresh insight. Please bear with me. In fact just a status giving kudos to the newest icon of woman/girl identity made me think via an inbox message where a lady questioned whether we truly have freedom? Why is abuse so rampant? I am not even going to beyond the borders of Punjab. Just, me and my state and the tri-city nexus.
Ok, the scenario is very rosy, we are a relatively well to do state (don’t distract with the drugs, dismal agriculture results and all); Punjabis by a distinct genetic code are a boisterous, happy go lucky, ambitious, hardworking tribe! Yes a tribe that is predisposed with an innate over the top fascination with boys. It is something about bearing boys, to pass on the seed, to leave one’s mark in the society, immortality, the naam ‘ that makes us also the largest killer of unborn of girls .The ones that are lucky and are spared grow up to be beautiful cherished, educated with a basic degree and then she enters the marriage mart.
Did I mention that Punjabi fathers have an internal clock ticking where they must marry their daughters before they hit 21 yrs.? A suitable match, a fat dowry, lavish wedding with no expense saved, she is the Princess on that day. Incidentally, Kaur/ Kumari means Princess.
However, what is happening is that these apples of the eyes, princesses suffer abuse. What is abuse? To use wrongly, for bad effect, to misuse a privilege and here one would think we would do this to inanimate objects; non –living things.
Well, you are in for a shocker. Women, married women on a daily basis are abused, shouted, scolded, physically beaten up, knocked about, verbally abused, sexually abused because she is married and the husband can do this.
Why?

There are no whys or whats or no’s. It happens. It exists. Women suffer all this as one of my friend points out, no financial independence, low self –esteem, lack of confidence, and the biggest culprit of all, they have been conditioned mentally to be submissive to not raise their voice, to listen to the crap, bear it for children, place in society, honor of parents, and because she has to.
Where was this written in the code? Why do intelligent, well-educated women bear all this? Concealers, blushers, foundations, artistic make up, all can hide the abuse, bruise, but what about the jagged marks on her soul? A woman bears all this because she worries about her children, their future, money and societal stigma. What will duniya say? A typical response is ‘ what will people say? They will talk. We go on bearing, bearing till one day her spirit lies broken.
Broken wings don’t fly. For us to soar high, we need a unified couple to give flight to the next generation. Parents who marry their daughters need to support them after marriage, and not wash off atypically after marrying them. What if she needs you after marriage? Don’t count her expense like a ledger, saying we did enough on your wedding. Do you count the pennies when your son marries or needs the brand new SUV? When did you gift one to your daughter?
I cry, I despair over the gross injustice, the beaten bones, the purple abuses, and more so over the broken spirits of empty women. She dare not raise her voice because she fears over burnt bodies, hanging ropes, nooses.
Why is honor hers alone? This rampant corruption  has weakened the structure of the society .
I have a lot of whys , a heavy heart and try to make sense of this behind the scene , not talked about epidemic.
Calling all intelligent men . As they say men have bigger brains , so how about stepping down from the pedestal and helping me , a simple woman to understand .

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Love story Part Deux


Love Story Part Deux


I am in love. I love him.
How many times have you heard it? I have always thought that it doesn’t happen, I mean you know the bolly wood type of love where a young girl will try to commit suicide for a stupid boy (sorry, it just doesn’t make sense) and says I cant live without him.  And always, the girl is more educated than the boy; and then on top of it they are always from a different caste.
This happens only in India, no made in China here.
In fact, last week I was roped in to counsel this chemical engineering girl who was madly in love with a tenth pass velapanti boy of an opposite caste.  And then it is about upper and lower caste. What is this, a password definition for secrecy? This girl after two and half years of loving him and trying to improve his philandering nature and roving eye (he is simultaneously going around with two other girls; one in the village) tried to commit suicide by hanging herself from the fan.
Thank God, for no electricity. Also, a blessing in disguise that the doors break so easily, you know like a B grade potboiler. We had it all, happening in the village. The 20 something girl loves him, wants to teach him a lesson that he is missing out on her …
Where do these half-baked ideas come from? Why is life so value-less? Doesn’t she realize that love is lust? It is fickle at this stage? And taking pictures in religious places and declaring undying love is not real life. Her father is a tarpaulin stitcher; yes that is a job in real India. An India, far away from reality, rupee fluctuation, gold import, Ladakh Vandalization by the Chinese but invaded by face book on cheap Chinese knock off smart phones.
 This, all sounds so much better in Punjabi! And , she still wants to kill herself, the boy is doing what every Punjabi boy does… flying out to phoren land to work. Passport made, visa in hand, land sold and going to make dollahs.
I am at a loss; and so upset that why would an intelligent girl kill herself over a wastrel? Maybe, I don’t believe in this love

babaji ki jai


Babaji ki Jai


What does it take to cure one of cancer in Punjab? Not the multi-specialty hospitals, nor does the drive by all the politicians who cry hoarse over the pollution menace or the dreaded over – use of pesticides, nor does the newest endeavor of the CM help in curing our Bibiji’s of rural Punjab.
We have a cure. Eureka, the God men of Punjab have hit up on the next big thing. Last heard, Lancet magazine was enquiring about this cure.
One such case heard from the heart of Punjab, Doab has everyone sitting up and remarking about the intelligence of our simple ladies. Who said we need more doctors? Why do we need research labs? Stop this inhuman treatment against the primates and those lovable hamsters. I say, with full confidence that we are the land of vegetarians and compassionate human beings.
Yesterday, we heard about this case. A young lady was suffering from cancer and she heard through the local jungle grapevine about this Babaji.  Babaji had divine powers and had after a long hard mediation /tap had been granted powers where by he could cure cancer! Babaji met his patients early morning or late at night when he blessed them. This poor simple lady gave installments all totaling 72,000Rs and then for the last time, she was asked to bring a 20 gm. gold bangle and her photograph to be put on the dera board. She obliged, begging money from her relatives, with blind faith that she would be cured of the dreaded C.
The ignorant lady went to Babaji and gave all the required stuff, he gave her two live fish in return asking her to bury them in her kitchen at night and not telling anyone what had happened. She agreed and did what was asked.
Next morning, the next, the week after nothing happened, she still had all the problems, al her tests were wrong.
When she went back to the God man he threatened to kill her and asked her to leave.
What do you do? Why has ignorance based on anything remotely religious been the reason for us to blindly accept? Why has religion reached such a threatening persona that we agree to blindly follow it like the mice of the Pied Piper of Hamelin…folk homily.
These unsuspecting ladies who could be cured by the money spent on this trickster industry so called Babas , need to be all put behind bars. The sad part is that these poor ignorant uneducated and sometimes educated too ; all fall prey to this. We live in the times, where clothes, outer garb and long hair, scare us into submission that all can be cured.
Why have lost the eye to look beyond the outer deceptions? Till, then the Babaji is running scot free, even if a complaint has been registered with the local police station. Last heard, he had promised SHO sahib promotion , so …. The circle goes on like the snake eating its tail!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

http://paper.hindustantimes.com/epaper/showlink.aspx?bookmarkid=6PK5YIY3OWU&issue=87342013070400000051001001&article=1e22df98-7225-4fc8-8fe9-e3fc8cf08775


In the defense of the Punjabi voter


Its D – Day in Punjab today, we have our Panchayati elections on, everyone is voting. Enough has been written and said about the voter of Punjab who is selling his vote /himself for a few drinks, ration, suit some cold drinks or the biggest lure of them all money in actual form.
We, the custodians of the future and of the state give long winding explanations about why they should not do this or why they should take the higher ground. Hello, go live with them, not like Rahul baba or like our so-called messiahs.  Has anyone of them ever visited their galis to see where they actually live or the conditions?
Sewer lines are blocked, a lady of the house is pressed for time with clothes overflowing washed only when water flows, food to be made, wondering how to juggle finances to make dal roti. She worries about the bills, the drug addict son who is silently stealing her hidden pin money but she is unable to say anything, fighting with a drunkard frustrated husband and who worries whether she and her daughter will get daily wage in the fields, what with the rains coming early and spoiling everything.
It is easy enough to rattle off those platitudes sitting on your sofa with the non-stop connectivity and air conditioning and then to say where is the progress? I feel that the NRI brethren should come visit us all year long and not surface in hordes flashing the dollars and pounds and upsetting the applecart or should I say the bushel of wheat. Sir, you come, smiling away trying to recreate the time when you left by squandering away money, this creates an illusion of wealth and strikes lines of difference so deep, we reel under it for the rest of the time till you come back like the prodigal son. Work for us, set up projects, educate us, set up rehab places, give us books, rather than distributing alcohol that too vilyayti! Guide the youth, give us pep talks, make the streets safe, help in water treatment plants, set up medical camps, give us glasses to wear, correct our vision.
Live another day in their paradise, and tell me. The voter knows his power; he knows he can demand a value, the only day when the politician actually embraces him with open arms. Promises are meant to be broken, to be crushed, the spirit crushed, A Punjabi still toils the land.
If Punjab to you is a place where the spirit is dead, well you haven’t seen the rest of the country.
I know we are the backbone of the country; at least you don’t defeat us.