Exams and all

 I just looked myself in the mirror, the hair has just decided to skip the intermittent stage of gently going into the salt pepper stage and then easing into the white to show that I have acquired some wisdom in my earth years; they are a shocking startling white that refuse any attempt to take on any color thanks to Patanjali mehendi. They just plain refuse. You see they also have mind of their own. I Am currently in the over stressed, hyper, tensed mommy brigade, I don’t have time for the budget or politics or reservation row.

You see I belong to the club of the worried, agonizing over stretched mommy whose child is appearing for the board exams. These exams (twice over for me) have put me into a state of nerves. Every known and unknown God and Goddess has been prayed upon so that my son does well. It is every parent’s wish that his or her son or daughter does well and brings laurels to the family name and secures admission to the college of their liking. These, examinations a measure of what the child has learnt and what he knows and that seals his fate.

I just know my parents twenty years ago worried but weren’t hyper like we all are today. I feel social media, this networking, and the accessibility to each other coupled with the intense pressure and competition to secure a seat has made all my friends and me a bundle of nerves. I know of someone who traveled a long distance to pay respects at a shrine so that her children would do well. There are amulets to safeguard the child from the evil eye, there are proper times that charted to ensure maximum studying potential along with highest receptivity.

The Indian mother is the only one known in the entire universe (even the Martians agree to this) that will soak the almonds in water overnight and peal the skin and give to her child especially during this time. I am guilty too. Every little nuskha known to Dadi maa, handed down is shared, and used so as to score well.  In fact, anything and everything is done in short.

In fact, even Geeta my maid asked for an advance this month so as she could buy a supplement for her daughter so she may do better in her exams.

Mothers will be mothers; every one of us will do her best for her child even if sometimes it’s beyond her income level! In Naya Goan (near PGI), the chemists were selling this tonic and it was all the rage and all of them were buying it so that the child would do better. It was a matter of pride and one-man ship to say that she had bought it for it. I didn’t refuse, how could I? Mothers will be mothers. The Indian saying, that a mother will cut her stomach to feed her child is so true .We, all do the best, buying whatever they want, getting them comfort food, keeping them as the center of our universe. In fact, as the days approach I shrink in proportion, knotting myself and of course driving my friends insane with my worries. My friends are the ones who I irritate all the time, non -stop bugging them with my worries, and unfounded tensions!

As, for my hair, I’ve just decided to give up and call them my silver highlights! Or maybe I could go Geeta’s way and just give into the paanch rupiya packet of kesh kala !!!

Till then I am sporting a Danerys Tagareyen look; for the un-initiated she is mother of the dragons in Game of thrones.

Its A Valentino !

Its Valentine Day tomorrow and the Sector 11 market is awash with red balloons, red hearts, red teddy bears, red plasticky icky roses wrapped in plastic with you guessed it right, hearts embossed on it. They’re red teddy bears on key chains, with the I love you written on them. The weather is also been specially ordered for all lovers or the doomed ones. It’s raining, cloudy, overcast and it kind of synonymous with Indian love; we see rain and romance and love sort of sprouts over. Its just because we’ve been mentally conditioned with a steady dose of Bollywood movies where when it starts to get darker, cloudier, love becomes stronger. I know it’s a cliché but how does cupid ‘s arrow work, doesn’t it get struck with lightening and misfire?

I know, I know I’m sounding like a cynic and a jaded one too, put it down to the years I’ve spent on earth and the fact that its my teenager boys and nephews who are all rejoicing on this day. In fact, for me a die hard Punjabi its velan time, a great joke that it’s the belan time and it sort of got Anglicized to Valentine because of the accent!

When did we start paying more attention to the outer gestures of love, and the fact there are days dedicated to this craziness? I don’t know the order, but apparently there is rose day, teddy bear day, chocolate, day, propose day and then valentine and maybe a hug day some where and all. I must have missed out one odd day! This madness is supported by a whole industry of flowers, think all shades of red and pink, cards with soppy, mushy teddy bears all sort of eclipsed in a fog (what does this mean) and chocolates (this is the best thing possible).

It is a perfect way to delude oneself that love is in the air even if it is raining today! Today in the market, a couple were arguing because she had got less flowers from him and her friend had more and he didn’t love her. How was she going to post on face book and show her face to her friend who had more flowers? She wanted more!

I swear, the fight was more interesting than all the serials that are playing on television and he kept on saying don’t worry, wait and see what I gift you tomorrow. ‘

This day, indirectly hits the parents who knowingly and unknowingly have to support their child who because peer pressure and what will others say shell out crazy amounts to declare their love. Any ways, with rising prices just eking out a living is difficult , and on top of this the burden of declaring love in numerous ways in the form of teddy bears . The best icon of the teddy bear who is just concerned with Hunny ( Winnie the Pooh ) would be rolling in his grave over the representations made in his name .

Love is not declaring to the world ,just the silent gestures are what matter . Of course my kind of Valentine is with just a difference , Its Valentino .

Punjab and the Dodo

Nothing matches the famous Punjabi hospitality and its true on both sides of the border. The infamous line that split one cultural nation into two has affected the Punjabis most, we lost out on our brethren, life, memories and our roots. However, the spirit remains same across the border and even here. Come, winter as temperature drops, wedding invitations start coming and the cards start piling up with delicacies to match. Every year the wedding card companies try to out do each other with the invites, the sweets accompanying them and the wording, color. The bigger, the better is the box, sometimes you are transported to the ethnic colors of the soil to the pastels of the Raj and the roses, the mithai can be the good old barfi, ladoo (how I still love the old fashioned moti boondi laddoo) to the dry fruits, to the crystallized fruits, chocolates, to the green tea and honey. A new one this year and well thought of keeping in with the ever-present weight problems of the Punjabi tribe.

However, in recent years the weddings have become bigger blingier, and a parade on ostentatious because if one didn’t spend what will people say? The duniya and the lok, not be confused with the kejriwal spiel here is what drives 90 percent of the money spent at these weddings. I n fact, I was just calculating if we started to spend so much in giving back to the society or our state, I swear Sukhbir ji we would be topping the charts not in the Economic Index of the country but even of neighboring countries. How about if we do that for a SAARC convention? Think big is my motto, always.

In fact, at the last one, I was eavesdropping on two society matrons who had so much base and foundation on (not talking about building a house) that they had an outward projection from their face and their eyelashes were curled just like Cruella and her perfect red lips. They were discussing numbers in code and the names sounded like as if they were the newest IS recruits, Ruby Woo, Mac danger, 30, Devil, and then I was told by my sister they were numbers of red lipsticks with a slight purple tint so as to match the Indian skin. We apparently have a yellow pigment that needs to be offset with this purple!

Have you ever had your colors done? Growing up, I knew the primary ones and secondary ones and red was red, blue was blue and green was green. Now there is a whole palette where teal, aqua blue, mint green, marsala, and fuchsia, and tea rose pink or the old rose pink, and the saffron, mango peach are broken into sub sections. White itself was white, now this safedi ki jhnakaar is the politician white, ivory , cream , off white, the white which has a touch of blue, whiter than white, muted white, fierce white , that one can be confused.

And, heavens forbid if you are like me, an Akali sympathizer you area cornered for favoring and wearing the akali blue over the congress blue worn with a contrast shawl in colors that shock and blind.

If colors defined that and us would solve the problems, how about the childhood game of innie minnnie mo.

I get drubbed so many times, and get drawn into the most insane conversations by the high society, drawing room, highly secure activists who do not venture out of their posh houses, over secure by the yearly theka (lease money) from far off lands which carve out their status as being a Malwa Sardar or a Majhail and sometimes from Doab. These lines divide and rule us invisibly!

Weddings are fun, in a way as I get to see who science works especially physics. The temperature drops and you would think we women would be well clad, no, no my dear the shawl is displayed on the left hand, carefully opened, crumpled and held by the bejeweled fingers with a hint of the art novae cuff and gravity holds everything up.  I am also really impressed with the fact that gravity really works.

I mean, I did classes and all and try to remember everything but gravity really work for em! Cleavages, back cleavage (I’m sure there is a word for that) and display is there, and I’m no Victorian prude but when is blatant display be the by word? Elegance, less is more and sophistication does not call for all this.

I could write a chapter, verse and sonnet on one of the blouses where for the heavens I could not figure out whether it was a sheer, nude or lined or just precariously worn.

Well, the suit wearing, grey hair in a bun, salwar suit with no fancy schmancy speaks out volumes to others who think I’m the dodo.

Extinct, you see.

Yes , we all can afford this , but it’s a section of the society that gets caught up in this power display and then the debt trap starts . We were all a society that helped each , yes we have larger than life personalities, and jazba but this naked display of wealth is so tasteless and a waste of money that can be used somewhere ! I know you're going to say why do you bother ... well to make things work collectively the onus has to start somewhere.